December 22, 2006
It’s been my habit to drop by our local market to buy some merienda before heading home from school. But on this particular day, as I was thinking of what to eat, a man approached me peddling some pirated DVDs. I thought about it for a moment then said, “Mayroon ho ba kayong bold?” “Ah, oo meron, kuya. Magaganda yung mga babae, saka ang babata,” the vendor assured. Convinced, I followed him to his stash of pirated videos and selected the one with the raunchiest cover sleeve. I split fast after paying, not bothering to test the purchase. I went straight to my room, locked the door, fired up the player, and took off all my clothes.
I was already touching myself when I noticed that the movie I bought had two men pleasuring each other. I shook it off, thinking it was only a trailer, but after five more minutes the action just got more intense. Kadiri! Then, horrors, my mother knocked, wondering why I was such in a hurry and why my door was locked. I told her I wanted to catch an interesting Discovery Channel episode. Suddenly, one of the gay fuckers let out a loud moan. Bothered, my mother came busting into my room. She saw it all: me butt-naked, holding my dick with gay porn on TV. She started crying hysterically. “Kalian ka pa naging bakla, hayop kang bata ka?! Sayang ang mga pangarap ko sa iyo!” The moral of the story: Never ever buy porn without trying it!
956, BY EMAIL
ILLUSTRATION BY: MIKKE GALLARDO
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