Snail's Pace

A couple was holding a dinner party for all the major status figures in their province. At the last minute, she realized she didn’t have any snails for the dinner party, so she gave a bucket to her husband and asked him to run down to the beach to gather some snails. He took the bucket, walked out the door, and ran to the beach. As he was collecting snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. All of a sudden, he looked up and the beautiful woman was standing right next to him. They talked and she invited him back to her place. At her apartment, they started messing around. It got him exhausted afterwards that he passed out there. At 7AM the next day, he woke up and exclaimed, “Oh no! My wife’s dinner party!” He put his clothes back on, grabbed the bucket, and ran out the door all the way to their house. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket. The snails were scattered all the way down the stairs. Just then the door opened, his very angry wife standing in the doorway wondering where he’d been all this time. He looked at the snails on the steps, looked at her, then looked back at the snails, and said, “Come on, guys! We’re almost there!”

ILLUSTRATION BY: JAYSON CONFESOR
SENT IN BY ACE DIAMOND

Cheaters Club





A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she’ll see him later and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, “Who the hell was that?” “Oh,” replies the husband, “she’s my mistress.” “Well, that’s the last straw,” says the wife. “I’ve had enough, I want a divorce.” “I can understand that,” replies her husband, “but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don’t get any more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Ferraris and Lexuses in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours.” Just then, a mutual friend of theirs enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. “Who’s that woman with Jim?” asks the wife. “That’s his mistress,” says her husband. “Ours is prettier,” she replies.



SENT BY ROBIN VIA EMAIL
ILLUSTRATION: JAYSON CONFESOR

Game of the generals!

The Armed Forces of the Philippines  found it had too many generals and so offered an early retirement bonus: full annual benefits plus P100,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two parts of the the general’s body, with him getting to pick any pair of points he wished. The first man, an Air Force general, asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet. He walked out with a check of P7.2 million. The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for P9.6 million. When the third general, a grizzled old Marine general, was asked what to measure, he said, “From the tip of my penis to the bottom of my testicles.” The pension man suggested that the general might like to reconsider it, pointing out the nice checks the two generals had received. The Marine insisted, so  the pension expert got the medical officer to do the measuring. The medical officer asked the general to drop his pants, placed the tape on the tip of the general’s penis and stopped. “My God!” he said. “Where are your testicles?” The general replied, “One in Sulu and the other in Tawi-Tawi. Keep measuring!” The Armed Forces of the Philippines  found it had too many generals and so offered an early retirement bonus: full annual benefits plus P100,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two parts of the the general’s body, with him getting to pick any pair of points he wished. The first man, an Air Force general, asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet. He walked out with a check of P7.2 million. The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for P9.6 million. When the third general, a grizzled old Marine general, was asked what to measure, he said, “From the tip of my penis to the bottom of my testicles.” The pension man suggested that the general might like to reconsider it, pointing out the nice checks the two generals had received. The Marine insisted, so  the pension expert got the medical officer to do the measuring. The medical officer asked the general to drop his pants, placed the tape on the tip of the general’s penis and stopped. “My God!” he said. “Where are your testicles?” The general replied, “One in Sulu and the other in Tawi-Tawi. Keep measuring!”

ILLUSTRATION: JAYSON CONFESSOR
SENT BY ANGELO VALENZUELA

APE LOVING

A man walks into his back yard one morning and finds a gorilla in a tree. He calls a gorilla-removal service, and soon a serviceman arrives armed with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun. “Now listen carefully,” he tells the homeowner. “I’m going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until it falls to the ground. The trained Chihuahua will then go right for his, uhm, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctively crosses his hands in front to protect himself, you slap on the handcuffs.” “Got it,” replies the homeowner. “But what’s the shotgun for?” “If I fall down from the tree before the gorilla,” begins the serviceman, “shoot the Chihuahua.A man walks into his back yard one morning and finds a gorilla in a tree. He calls a gorilla-removal service, and soon a serviceman arrives armed with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun. “Now listen carefully,” he tells the homeowner. “I’m going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until it falls to the ground. The trained Chihuahua will then go right for his, uhm, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctively crosses his hands in front to protect himself, you slap on the handcuffs.” “Got it,” replies the homeowner. “But what’s the shotgun for?” “If I fall down from the tree before the gorilla,” begins the serviceman, “shoot the Chihuahua.

ILLUSTRATION: SONNY RAMIREZ
E-MAILED BY FRANCIS SABIDONG

Catholic Coffee

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman are having coffee. The first Catholic man tells his friends, “My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father.’” The second Catholic man chirps: “My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room, people call him ‘Your Grace.’” The third Catholic gent says: “My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says, ‘Your Eminence.’” The fourth Catholic man then brags: “My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him: ‘Your Holiness.’” Seeing that the lone Catholic woman was just sipping her coffee in silence throughout their conversation, the four men give her a subtle, “Well?” To which she proudly replies: “I have a daughter: slim, tall, 38D breasts, 24” waist and 34” hips. When she walks into a room, people say, ‘Oh My God.’”Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman are having coffee. The first Catholic man tells his friends, “My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father.’” The second Catholic man chirps: “My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room, people call him ‘Your Grace.’” The third Catholic gent says: “My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says, ‘Your Eminence.’” The fourth Catholic man then brags: “My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him: ‘Your Holiness.’” Seeing that the lone Catholic woman was just sipping her coffee in silence throughout their conversation, the four men give her a subtle, “Well?” To which she proudly replies: “I have a daughter: slim, tall, 38D breasts, 24” waist and 34” hips. When she walks into a room, people say, ‘Oh My God.’”


ILLUSTRATION: LUCIANO “SONNY” RAMIREZ
STORY: ARIS REX ARROYO BY EMAIL


Watch your step!

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, “We only have one rule here: Don’t step on the ducks!” They enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It’s almost impossible not to step on them. Although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she’s ever seen. St. Peter chains them together and says: “Your punishment is to spend eternity chained to this man!” The next day, the second woman makes the same mistake and along comes St. Peter with another extremely ugly man.

He chains them together with the same admonishment. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, becomes very careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any duck, but one day, St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid her eyes on—tall, long eyelashes, muscular. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, “I wonder what I’ve done to deserve being chained to you?” The guy says, “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!”


ILLUSTRATION BY: JAYSON CONFESOR
SENT VIA EMAIL BY:CRISTOFFER MARX

Got holes?

A lady dies and goes to heaven. She arrives at the pearly gates and is greeted by St. Peter. There were a few people waiting before her, so she strikes up a conversation with the cock-bearing saint. They were deep in discussion when suddenly she hears a blood-curdling scream. “What was that?” she asked. “Oh, don’t worry about that,” said St. Peter. “It’s just someone getting a hole drilled in their head so they can be fitted for their halo.” A few seconds later, she hears another agonized scream, more terrible than the previous one. “What was that?” “Oh, don’t worry,” again said St. Peter soothingly. “It’s just someone getting holes drilled in their back so they can be fitted for their wings.” Upon hearing this, the lady starts to back away. “Where are you going?” inquired St. Peter. “I think I’ll go downstairs,” answers the lady. “But you can’t go there. You’ll be raped and sodomized!” “It’s okay,” she notes. “I’ve already got the holes for that.”

JAN RAY SOLEDAD, ZAMBOANGA CITY

ILLUSTRATION BY: MIKKE GALLARDO

OMG!

An old man is on the beach. He spots a beautiful girl in a hot pink bikini and walks up to her. “Lady, I want to feel your breasts!” he exclaims. “Get away from me, you crazy old man!” she replies. “I want to feel your breasts. I will give you P500,” he says. “Five hundred pesos? Are you nuts?! Get away from me!” the lady shouts in disgust. “I really want to feel your breasts, I will give you P1,000,” he insists. “No, pervert! Get away from me!” “Two thousand pesos!” he offers. She pauses to think about it, but then comes to her senses and says, “I said no!” “Okay, P5,000 if you let me feel your breasts!” he exclaims. She gives it a thought, “Well he is old, and he seems harmless enough. After all, P5,000 is a lot of money...” Finally she agrees.
An old man is on the beach. He spots a beautiful girl in a hot pink bikini and walks up to her. “Lady, I want to feel your breasts!” he exclaims. “Get away from me, you crazy old man!” she replies. “I want to feel your breasts. I will give you P500,” he says. “Five hundred pesos? Are you nuts?! Get away from me!” the lady shouts in disgust. “I really want to feel your breasts, I will give you P1,000,” he insists. “No, pervert! Get away from me!” “Two thousand pesos!” he offers. She pauses to think about it, but then comes to her senses and says, “I said no!” “Okay, P5,000 if you let me feel your breasts!” he exclaims. She gives it a thought, “Well he is old, and he seems harmless enough. After all, P5,000 is a lot of money...” Finally she agrees.


“Well, okay, but only for a minute.” She loosens her bikini top. They go to an isolated part of the beach and there, he slides his hands underneath the bikini and begins to feel the lady’s soft breasts. “Oh my God... Oh my God... Oh my God...” the old man, sweating, keeps on saying while caressing the woman. Out of curiosity, she asks him, “Why do you keep saying, ‘Oh my God, oh my God’?” While continuing to feel her breasts, he answered, “ Oh my God... Oh my God... Oh my God... Where am I ever going to get P5,000?!”

Alvin de Jesus, by mailIllustration by: Mikke Gallardo

 

Driver takes dodgy maneuver

I got pretty wasted at a drinking session with some schoolmates. I wasn’t too worried, though, because I knew my boyfriend (who was older than I was) would be picking me up that night to bring me home. Some time later, I remember being carried by two of my friends into the backseat of my boyfriend’s car. Finally, we pulled up in front of my house. When I heard him open the backdoor and felt his hands reach under me to carry me into the house, I surprised him by pulling him down on top of me and kissing him torridly. Next thing I knew, his hands were everywhere, and he was lifting my skirt up, pulling my panties to the side. We did it in the car, hard and fast. And then I fell asleep. When I was conscious again, he was laying me down on my bed.
I pulled him close to me and we went for another round of frenzied lovemaking. before I lost consciousness again. I didn’t wake up again until the next morning. I was still dressed in the outfit I wore the night before and had a pounding hangover. I went downstairs to get something for my headache, changed clothes, and went back to sleep. I woke up past lunchtime. It was only then that I had the time to check my phone—with several missed calls and a dozen messages. What I read made my blood run cold. From my boyfriend, the message said: “Babe, sorry I can’t pick you up, I’ve a late meeting for my org. I asked our driver, Mang Jojo, to drop you off at your house na lang.” He still doesn’t know to this day, and I’ve never ridden with Mang Jojo ever again.

D., by email
ILLUSTRATION BY: SONNY RAMIREZ

Waiter gets best tip ever!

Out on a blind date with a nice but otherwise kind of conservative guy, I happened to notice that one of the waiters at the restaurant was so pogi and incredibly hot looking . On my way to the ladies’ room, I ran into him. He bumped me slightly and smiled. I just kept my composure, went back to my table and spent the rest of dinner making eyes at him. After a couple of sangrias, I excused myself again from my date to go to the bathroom. The waiter came over and said that he’d been waiting for me. I held the bathroom door open and said, “Well, come in then.” We went inside and locked the door.
It was so thrilling! He kissed me torridly while slowly removing my T-back. We did it right then and there. Periodically, I would stop the action and say, “Wait, I am on a date!” which only made us more excited. We exchanged numbers, and I went back to the table to thank my poor, patient date and explain that we just weren’t compatible. I went home alone that night, but boy, was I happy!

Amy, by emailILLUSTRATION BY: SONNY RAMIREZ

God—busted





After getting all of the Pope’s luggage loaded into the limo, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb. “Excuse me, Your Eminence,” says the driver, “would you please take your seat so we can leave?” “Well, to tell you the truth,” says the Pope, “they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I’d really like to drive today.” “I’m sorry but I cannot let you do that. I’d lose my job! And what if something happens?” protests the driver, wishing he’d never gone to work that morning. “There might be something extra in it for you,” says the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Supreme Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph. “Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!” pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. “Oh, dear God, I’m gonna lose my license,” moans the driver. The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio. “I need to talk to the Chief,” he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he’s stopped a limo going a hundred and five. “So bust him,” says the Chief. “I don’t think we want to do that, he’s really important,” says the cop. “I mean really important.” “Who you got there, the Mayor?” the chief asks. “Bigger. Bigger than the governor or everyone else for that matter,” says the cop. “Well, who is it?” asks the chief. “I think it’s God!” says the cop. “What makes you think it’s God?” Cop answers: “He’s got the Pope for a limo driver!”

Allan, by email

One day in court...

District Attorney: Would you please state your age to the court for the record?

Little Old Lady: I am 86-years-old.

DA: Will you tell us in your own words what happened on the night in question?

LOL: I was sitting on my porch swing on a warm spring evening, when a young man sits down beside me.
DA: Did you know him?

LOL: No, but he sure was friendly.

DA: What happened after he sat down beside you?
LOL: Well, he started to rub my thighs.

DA: Did you stop him?
LOL: No, I didn’t.

DA: Why not?
LOL: It felt good. Nobody has done that since my husband passed away 30 years ago.

DA: Then what happened?

LOL: He started to rub my breasts.

DA: Did you stop him then?

LOL: NO!

DA: Why not?

LOL: Well, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I hadn’t felt that good in years.

DA: What happened next?
LOL: Well, I started to feel spicy that I said to him, “You hot thing, please take me and  enter me.”

DA: And did he take you?
LOL: No. That’s when he yelled “April Fools!”…And that’s when I shot him.
 
Capricorn29, by email

Illustration: Sonny Ramirez

Keep praying, young man

A young man goes into a pharmacy and tells the pharmacist, “Could you give me a condom? I’m going to my girlfriend’s house for dinner and I might get lucky!” The pharmacist gives him the condom, but as the young man is going out, he returns and says: “Give me another condom. My girlfriend’s sister is very cute ad she always crosses her legs provocatively when she sees me. I might get lucky with her, too.”

As the boy leaves again he turns back and says: “I need one more condom. My girlfriend’s mom is still pretty cute and she always makes eye contact. I think she is expecting me to make a move!” During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his left, the sister on his right and the mum facing him. When the dad gets there, the boy lowers his head and starts praying, “Dear Lord, bless this dinner and thank you for all you gave us.” A minute later the boy is still praying; “Thank you, Lord, for your kindness.” Ten minutes go by and the boy is still praying while still keeping his head down.

Finally, his girlfriend gets closer to the boy and whispers in his ear, “I didn’t know you were so religious.” To which the boy replies, “I didn’t know your dad was a pharmacist!

ILLUSTRATION: MIKE GALLARDO

Chuck Like Movies

An old farmer decides to go to town and see a movie. He is about to pay for his ticket when the ticket agent asks, “Sir, what’s that on your shoulder?” “This is my pet rooster, Chuck. Wherever I go, Chuck goes,” answers the old farmer. “I’m sorry, sir, but we can’t allow animals in the theater.” Disappointed, the old farmer goes around the corner and stuffs Chuck down his overalls. He then returns to the booth, buys a ticket and enters the theater. He sits down next to two old widows named Mildred and Marge.
The movie is about to start when the rooster begins to squirm. The old farmer unbuttons his fly so Chuck can stick his head out and watch the movie. “Marge,” whispers Mildred, “I think the guy next to me is a pervert.” “What makes you think so?” asks a shocked Marge. “He undid his pants and he has his thing out.” “Well, don’t worry about it,” assures Marge, “at our age we’ve seen ‘em all.” “I thought so, too,” fires back Mildred, “but this one’s eating my popcorn!”


ILLUSTRATION BY MIKE GALLARDO
EMAILED BY ARTURO SALINAS├»»¿


Vacationers go island-humping

It was a rainy evening in Boracay when my boyfriend and I decided to go bar-hopping. While walking along the beach, my boyfriend started fondling me. That turned me on but I stopped and told him to do it later. I asked him if we could swim, but he disagreed and said he’d just watch and wait for me at the shore. After a while I found myself running to the beach with just my bra and capri on, but before I got myself wet my boyfriend was shouting behind with just his briefs on! We were not quite far from the shore swimming when I pulled my boyfriend toward me and told him: “You’re turning me freaking on kanina pa. At mas lalo na ngayon dahil diyan sa suot mo.” He smiled back at me and started undressing me. In a minute we had the most exciting lovemaking in the middle of the sea with big heavy waves under the drizzling rain, until one big wave brought us apart near to the shoreline. After the challenging quickie he was asking me about his underwear. I said I didn’t know where they were because I was holding my clothes too. To my surprise, he stood up naked facing the shoreline looking for his lost underwear. By that time I came back to my senses I noticed the bar’s spotlight was facing the sea, making us visible to the shore area.

To my horror, there were already people on the shore! We were stuck in the sea and the only idea to get our clothes on was to let him borrow my underwear to get off the sea. At first, he didn’t like the idea, but having no options my boyfriend wore my pink underwear and ran to the shore very quickly to get our clothes. Good thing my bikini underwear looked good on him—even sexier than his lost pair of briefs.



SENT BY GREEN APPLE VIA E-MAIL

Whacking Party

Fred goes to the doctor’s office to get a double dose of Viagra. The doctor tells him that he can’t give him a double dose. “Why not?” asks Fred. “Because it’s not safe,” replies the doctor. “But I need it really bad,” argues Fred. “Well, why do you need it so badly?” asks the doctor. “My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday; my ex-wife will be here on Saturday; and my wife is coming home on Sunday. Can’t you see? I must have a double dose.” The doctor finally relents saying, “Okay, I’ll give it to you, but you have to come in on Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there were any side effects.” On Monday, Fred drags himself in; his right arm in a sling. “What happened to you?” asks the doctor. Fred replies, “Nobody showed up.”




Emailed by Sean Juen
Illustration by Jason Confessor

Those Horny Dwarves

One evening Snow White decided she was sleepy and announced to the seven dwarves that she was going to bed. After the usual lengthy round of “good nights” she went upstairs. Immediately all seven dwarves rushed outside and began standing on each other’s shoulders beneath Snow White’s bedroom window. Tonight was Grumpy’s turn to be on the top and, as he was the only one who could see in the window, it was his duty to inform the other dwarves what she was doing.

After a minute or two he hollered down, “She’s taking off her blouse!” This was passed down the stack: “taking off her blouse,” “she’s taking off her blouse,” “blouse is coming off.” Next Grumpy yelled, “She’s taking off her skirt.” The echoes again followed. Grumpy then declared, “She’s taking off her bra!” Then, “She’s taking off her panties!” which again cascaded down the dwarf tower. Grumpy looked around and from his vantage point saw movement in the woods so he yelled, “Someone’s coming!” To which all the other dwarves subsequently answered, “Me too...” “Me too...” “Me too...”


Emailed by:  Jeffrey Bruma

Cock's mess

There was a chicken that loved to have sex with different kinds of animals. Be it a lion, an elephant, cat or alligator, he’d do them all. Given his appetite, there was not much left in the animal kingdom that he didn’t boink. One day, he met a dog so old and almost skinless limping toward him. The chicken approached and asked, “Can I have sex with you?” Shocked, the dirty dog sighed and said, “Look, I’m so beaten up and very sick! Stay away!”
There was a chicken that loved to have sex with different kinds of animals. Be it a lion, an elephant, cat or alligator, he’d do them all. Given his appetite, there was not much left in the animal kingdom that he didn’t boink. One day, he met a dog so old and almost skinless limping toward him. The chicken approached and asked, “Can I have sex with you?” Shocked, the dirty dog sighed and said, “Look, I’m so beaten up and very sick! Stay away!” 

But the chicken insisted, so the dog gave in. After the deed, the dog warned the chicken that he would not be at fault in case the chicken died. The cock just shrugged off the warning and went his way. The next morning, while the dog was searching for food, he saw the cock shut-eyed, lying on the pavement and shaking. The dog, thinking that the chicken was already dying, said, “Ha! You got what you wanted! I told you sleeping with me might kill you!” To the dog’s shock, the chicken replied, “Shut up! This darn ant might run away!”

ZEN TAMANO, BY EMAIL
ILLUSTRATION BY MIKKE GALLARDO


 

Stairway to heaven


I went with my boyfriend to a friend’s birthday party. We got so drunk that we decided to go home because it was late noon. On the way home, I needed to pee so we first went to his best friend’s house to use the restroom. His friend was not home, so we had no choice but to pee at the old house beside theirs. After we’d peed, the alcohol kicked in further and we felt hot. The house was abandoned and full of dirt so we decided to make out on the stairs. This was not a good idea. The stairway was filled with pebbles that it was hard to lean on it, but we still continued making love. We moved up the stairs, but in the middle of our orgasm, his best friend came.

 That was when we suddenly remembered we’d left our bags on the chairs outside! He must’ve noticed us because he kept on coming back, and I was moaning loudly all throughout. But lucky us, his good friend walked away. When we got out, after two hours, my boyfriend told his pal that we’d just grabbed something to eat. Later on, I noticed that we had bruises on our elbows and knees. We were really dirty, too. 
Sheila, by email
ILLUSTRATION BY: SONNY RAMIREZ  

Four on the floor



On our second wedding anniversary, my husband and I were enjoying ourselves on the beach when a couple approached us. They introduced themselves as Jenahlyn and Dan. They invited us to play volleyball, after which they invited us to their private cottage for a few drinks. There we settled ourselves and Dan opened a few bottles of beer. Soon the four of us were pretty much drunk. Dan suggested that we try a little game. He suggested that Jenahlyn sit beside Vincent and me, beside him. My husband and I were surprised, but Jenahlyn stood up and sat beside my husband. So as not to embarrass the couple, I stood up and sat beside Dan. He put his arm around me. I was surprised when I saw Jenahlyn kissing my husband. She pulled his cock out. My husband, drunk, did not resist as Jenahlyn lowered herself to give him a blowjob. At that moment I was starting to feel jealous when Dan held me closer. He started kissing me and began to fondle my breasts.
I felt horny, reached for his zippers and pulled out his cock. I lowered myself and sucked it. Minutes later, the four of us were naked. I ended being fucked by Dan while my husband fucked Jenahlyn. Dan shot his sperm inside me as I reached orgasm. I heard Jen scream as Vincent shot his load at her pussy. After the four of us reached orgasm, Jen took my hands, laid me to bed, and began to lick his husband’s sperm into my pussy. She cleaned my pussy while our husbands jacked off while watching us. After that, we bid the couple a good night, thanking them for our first foursome.
Analyn, by email
ILLUSTRATION BY: SONNY RAMIREZ 

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