The Make-out Manual

By Nicole Beland; Photographs by Antoine Verglas; Styling: Kathy Kalafut, Hair: Richard Keogh,T.W.I., Makeup: Amy Komorowski/Art House










Squeaking back and forth on top of a half-deflated pool float in a backyard shed, my fifteen-year-old boyfriend and I were soaking wet and groping each other frantically. After dating for five months and making out in the deep end of my best friend's pool for five minutes, we decided: We were going all the way. Greg's trunks were already around his knees, but he'd been tugging so wildly on my wet bikini strings that they were tied into impossibly tight little knots. Just when he had the brilliant idea to push aside the damp strip of fabric between my legs, we heard giggling outside the shed door. The other party guests were onto us. As usual, we were left unfulfilled, blushing and shaking with the kind of brain-melting horniness that seldom strikes past age 18.



Most of my teenage trysts were just as clumsy and ultimately frustrating, but they were unfailingly memorable. Looking back, there's more than one aspect of those underage experiences that I'm eager to relive. I long for a hot and horny encounter that's just as frantic but nowhere near as fumbling; just as unpredictable but a lot more pleasurable. At 30, what I want is a hormone-fueled high-school hookup with a fully-grown man. I bet the woman in your life feels the same way. Use these instructions to treat your next date as if you were once again getting lucky in the back of your parents' sensible station wagon. It will be hot, I promise.



STEAL THE FIRST KISS

My friend Anna will never forget the time her high school crush grabbed her hand at a school dance and led her into a dimly lit hallway. "He didn't say a word, just pressed my body up against the lockers, and before I knew what was happening, he was sucking on my bottom lip," she remembers. "My knees wobbled for the rest of the night."

Ten years later, it's become standard behavior for Anna's dates to wait until the end of the night to politely lean toward her for a goodnight peck. Boring. Remember that women of all ages want to be wanted and I mean really wanted. Anna's advice: "Grab me around the waist and plant one on me, damn it." What's important is that you go after that first smooch with gusto - put some pressure into it, open your mouth a little and do it at a daring, instead of glaringly obvious, moment. Kissing her in the middle of the date is what will deliver a thrill straight to the base of her spine. It's risky, yes, but the payoff is worth it.



SLIP INTO THE CLOSET

One night during junior year, my boyfriend and I managed to get kicked out of a pizza place, an arcade, and the parking lot behind the public library for what you might call "public indecency." Goaded by hormones that knew no limits, we weren't discouraged. We drove out of town and turned off at the first field we came to, heading straight into the waist-high grass, where we could finally grope each other in peace. Having no idea where or when we'd get our hands on one another was thrilling in itself. It made us spontaneous and brave. We were constantly on the lookout for empty closets, dark corners, and seldom-used stairwells.

Somewhere between then and now, most of us have stopped viewing any place but the bedroom as a viable hookup location, but those little nooks are still there, waiting to be used for all sorts of naughty purposes. All it takes is a quick nudge into the coat-check room and you and your date will be rocketing back to the Junior Ring Dance, circa 1989.

EXPLOIT HER SWEATER

For a woman, wearing a soft sweater without a bra is one of the great simple pleasures of life. The fabric gently gliding over bare breasts is cozy and erotic at the same time, and it made my high-school boyfriends crazy with desire to run their hands over my pink fuzzies.

Cuddly tops, flowing silk skirts, fishnet stockings: They all feel as good to our skin lying underneath as they do to your hands. And don't underestimate the thrill of pure, simple cotton. "Having soft cotton panties between my body and a man's fingers is absolute heaven," says Anna. Our most tender parts can be extremely sensitive, and sometimes indirect contact is even more pleasurable than skin-on-skin. As it was at the make-out party, so it is right now: Women still love to be felt up both above and below the belt. Slowly at first, with caressing fingers, and then with increasing pressure and plenty of that blessed thing called friction.

QUIT WHILE IT'S HOT

I remember the heart-thumping panic I felt when the clock on the dashboard revealed that it was 11:55 PM, which meant I had less than five minutes to untangle myself from my date, reassemble my outfit, and hustle home before curfew. Having to stop cold when my body was at the height of arousal was painful and I'm sure it hurt my boyfriend even more than it hurt me. But, oooh, did it hurt so good. It left us wanting... no, desperate, for more. The carryover horniness was the ultimate aphrodisiac.

And now, delayed gratification certainly still has its perks. Recently, when I decided to go home alone after a hot-and-heavy date that involved X-rated behavior in the back of a cab, I spent the next three days thinking of nothing but him. Instead of walking out of his apartment in a literally anticlimactic state, I dwelled on the memory of our chemistry and the imagination of what might happen next. It all became magnified in my mind until I was convinced that we had something special, something out of this world. And when that wish was fulfilled, guess what: We did.

Kinky Sex

By Mike Diez
(With excerpts from "Do You Dare?" by Grant Stoddard, Men's Health US)
Wardrobe Styling: Suzie Hardy/MS-Management, Hair and Makeup:
Su Han/MS-Management




Here in the Philippines, we hear most guys with unbelievable stories regarding their sexual romps. So unbelievable in fact that the over-the-top yarn-spinning has to be attributed to the 'lolo' syndrome. You know, the 'wala yan sa lolo ko…' syndrome. Machismo requires that we have to have the taller tale than the other guy. But somewhere in the quagmire of fantastic tales lie real stories. Stories like what we are about to tell you. "Filipinas are more open-minded nowadays," says Shirley Reyes, psychologist at the University of the Philippines-Philippine General Hospital (UP-PGH). "They are more mature when it comes to sex. You can see it in their lifestyle, in the way they dress. And you can hear them discuss openly topics that were once taboo."

Perhaps all the signs were there; we just didn't see them because, as mentioned, tall tales have blocked our better senses. Or perhaps, (dare we admit it?) we are intimidated by the mere thought of unconventional sex. According to Men's Health US writer Grant Stoddard, men are "simple creatures." "We know what we like, and like what we know," Stoddard adds. He writes that generally speaking, men are reluctant to replace good old-fashioned horizontal bop with a session that requires a trunkful of apparatus, significant prep time, and possibly a run to the drugstore.

If the word 'kinky' conjures images of the Gimp in Pulp Fiction, or nerdy cosplayers in a toy convention, here's a bit of advice: "Think of it as fun, more than kinky," says Sue Johanson, a sex educator and host of Talk Sex with Sue Johanson in the US.

BDSM
(Bondage, Domination, Submission, and Masochism)

Most Filipinas are still a bit apprehensive when it comes to trusting. "The thought of being tied up scares me," admits Ry, 26, film editor. "And the bit about roleplaying is a bit too absurd for me." Still, that doesn't stop couples from buying S&M stuff. "The costumes are some of our bestsellers," says Jamie Dy, owner of the Love Store (see sidebar). Dy admits that the costumes did not exactly fly off the shelves initially. Perhaps it is still true that Bondage and Domination scare off most people. But hey, we're not talking about fetishes here. So, do proceed with caution in employing these.

AT FIRST: During one of your typical romps, use your hands to restrain hers above her head. If she seems to like that (go ahead, ask), consider taking it further the next time around. Grab neckties, silk scarves, or a pair of stockings. Use gentle knots and give yourself access to all areas. Then resume what you were doing. Only slower.

Spanking can liven things up. "How hard one should spank depends on the person," says Emma Taylor, one half of the sex-writing duo Em and Lo (emandlo.com) and coauthor of Nerve's Guide to Sex Etiquette. "Always err on the side of reserve, and gradually build up to rudeness." Start with a light tap. If she laughs, laugh along with her. Consider a moan permission to continue.

CAMERAS & ACTION

Listen up, if you think it will be tough to introduce her to Bondage and Submission, videotaping will be doubly hard. Why, you ask? Have you heard about that latest video scandal? The one with the flavor-of-the-month starlet? 'Nuff said. Typically, most married couples have a better chance in getting their partners to agree with this one. "If you know each other well, and if you are comfortable with one another, there shouldn't be a problem with whatever suggestion you make," says Reyes.

Still, "to see what we look like in the heat of passion fulfills our deepest curiosity about something primal in our lives," says former porn star Candida Royalle.

AT FIRST: "Try foregoing the tape," says Royalle. She and her boyfriend did that after she retired from making porn. "We would hook the camera up directly to the TV," she says, "bypassing any videotape [or evidence], and be able to look over at ourselves in the heat of passion." Consider a safer still camera (digital or Polaroid), which is less intimidating to beginners. Certainly beats explaining what that new overhead mirror is for.

SEX TOYS

I know, I know. Who wants to share a bed with a dildo (aside from the female partner, of course)? But think about this, more often than not, no matter what sexual position you try, there is little clitoral stimulation in sexual acts, which women need to reach orgasm. Paying attention now? Good. Because she may be using a vibrator already when you're not around. "I have mine (vibrator) under lock and key in the drawer of my night table," says Emilia, 21, customer service rep. "I've been using it for a while even before I met my boyfriend and it's quite handy whenever he's not around." Now find a way to bring it up with her. Don't be insecure with a toy, now.

AT FIRST: You can start her nicely by giving her a variety of sexual toys along with lingerie and bath oils, as gifts. That would give her a hint that you're okay with the idea of using sexual aids. Visit www.adults.com.ph for some ideas. Encourage her then to try them out, and to bring her new toys along when she's ready.

EXHIBITIONISM

Now here's something most of us can relate with. There's something about the idea of getting caught in the act that drives our passions in frenzy. "It really wakes you up and focuses you on the sexual experience," explains Carol Queen, PhD, staff sexologist at Good Vibrations, a woman-owned and operated sex toy empire in the US. "It also harks back to the thrill of sexual experiences as teenagers, when we had so little privacy." Make sure you don't break any laws.

AT FIRST: If she's a prude, be subtle about it. Brush up against her, or press yourself against each other when you go out. Warm her up to it. "The thrill of being viewed has a lot to do with getting attention," says Queen. "For women, it's a sort of centering experience that makes them realize they have attrac-tiveness and erotic energy, even if they don't look like Lindsay Lohan."